More Previous Tension-Free Travels of a Character Who Dies at the End of “The Bitter Show Presents: Road Trip to Pluto, The Bitter Planet,” Thursday, September 16, 2010, 4 Star Movie Theatre, SF Fringe 2010.
The battle has begun.
“Engage to begin battle,” said a Space Robot App.
“Battle begin engage!” said another Space Robot App.
“Begin engagement battle sequence,” said another Space Robot App.
“Shut up already,” said another Space Robot App.
“Are you ready?” asked Psycho. “Round one. Fight!”
Space Robot Apps and Psycho jumped, in slo-motion bullet time, to the top of a moving white truck driving on the Alameda freeway.
“Begin battlegagement — Ouch!” Psycho punched the Space Robot App, causing it to fly off the truck and right into the camera, which, in IMAX and with 3D glasses, looks really freaking cool.
Choral arrangements over techno music played. Aaaah aaaah aaaaw. Doot-doot-doot-doo-doot-doot, ach-ach-ack!
A Space Robot App fired his space gun towards Psycho. Pew! Pew! Too late — Psycho jumped over the bullets.
“These bullets are too slow,” complained the Space Robot App.
Losing balance, Psycho falls onto the Alameda freeway. Space Robot Apps drive their cars towards him, but Psycho jumped in the air, legs spread out a la Transformers 2, causing the cars to collide head-on.
“Line,” said Psycho.
“‘Hate to crash your party,’” said one of the Apps in a mangled car.
“Hate to crash your party,” repeated Psycho.
A Space Robot App ran towards Psycho.
“Yoga Fire!” yelled Psycho, lighting a yoga studio on fire.
“My yoga studio!” said a yoga instructor.
Space Robot Apps and Psycho jumped, in slo-motion bullet time, to the top of another moving white truck driving on the Alameda freeway.
“Want a ‘Hertz Donut’?” Psycho asked the Apps.
“No,” said the Apps.
Choral arrangements subside, as a techno bassline continued, mashed up with the theme of ‘Knight Rider,’ ft. Soulja Boy and Gwen Stefani.
A Space Robot App fired his space gun towards Psycho. Pew! Pew! Psycho dodged over the bullets.
“What’s the point of shooting at him if he’s just going to dodge or jump over the bullets?” asked the Space Robot App.
White light emerged from the sky. In the midst was the image of a familiar face. It was the man standing in line behind Psycho at McDonald’s. After complaining to Psycho, a Space Robot App killed him, and his last words were calling Psycho his mortal enemy.
“Not now, dude. Sorry I got you killed. I feel so guilty about that. Now you’re here to haunt me,” said Psycho.
“I’m a little more dimensional than that. I’m not just your mortal enemy. I had a whole life before you got me killed, you know,” the man said.
“Then why are you here?” asked Psycho.
“To bark commands at you,” said the man as an App ran towards Psycho. The man pointed to the App. “Finish him!”
“Duh,” said Psycho, ripping out the App’s spine.
“Fatality,” said the man.
“Why won’t you die?” a Space Robot App asked Psycho.
“You can’t kill me. This is the prequel to my other adventure, ‘Road Trip to Pluto,’ premiering Sept. 16th (tix). I won’t die until the end of that show.”
“Then what do we do?” asked another Space Robot App.
“WE CHASE!” yelled another Space Robot App.
Then there was a big car chase, but Psycho won’t get caught and killed because this is his prequel. And in the further prequel adventures of Psycho, it will be his chase.
