By Mr Bitterness, on August 11th, 2010%
The Commander of NPR showed up at the Stuff Sponsored by HBO mixer with a certain lovely lieutenant on his arm. When asked about a possible inter-galactic romance, Miss U was quoted as saying, “Oh hell no! I’m just here for the cheese puffs and free True Blood dvds that were supposed to be in the gift bags, but all they had was Entouage. What am I supposed to do with that? I can’t even give it as a gift.”
 Just here for the free stuff. When asked the Commander said, “No, why? What have you heard? Can you give this note to Nyota when you see her?”
The note in question was folded into the shape of a cootie catcher and asked for a reply of yes, no or maybe so.
By Mr Bitterness, on August 2nd, 2010%
When a lovable group of rag-tag losers had to accomplish the impossible: sing The Body Electric without sounding like a bunch of cats being drowned in a burlap sack (who does that?), Emcee Clintock performed a miracle by getting them all to sound “not bad at all”. When asked how she did it, Emcee C said, “I utilized the power of the 80s movie montage. All you need is a Frank Stallone song, a giant boom box, paint, wallpaper, a handsaw, some jocks, some nerds, a large body of water and a pirate ship.”
 Putting one foot in front of the other is harder than it looks.
By Mr Bitterness, on July 22nd, 2010%
Scandal on Mars!
On set at the Mars Olympic Games, green-haired sensible-shoe wearing sportscaster, Bibi Blingbling got some special attention from futuristic sportsbimbo, Stormy Waves. OMBZ! Hanky-panky in the commentary booth? Hopefully. Still, when asked for a comment, Stormy said, “No way! I have a boyfriend. He’s from Canada. His name is George Glass.” Bibi was quoted as shouting, “I also have a boyfriend. He is from Canada, wherever that is. His name is also George Glass.” George Glass could not be reached for comment.
 Not what it looks like. They both have boyfriends. Named George. Lesbians in Space!
Was a romance brewing on the set of Bitterly Bad Production Plan B from Outerspace between mack-tresses, Karen Spiegelman and Eileen Murphy? No, they’re just playing a part. But that would be some super sweet gossip if they were, right?
 YOWZA!
Speaking of parts, Dave McKew, who plays a lipstick lesbian in Plan B, was recently asked by Bad Movies Monthly if he is being typecast. He responded with this: “All my parts are different. Nurse FuFu is a lipstick lesbian, sure, but she is nothing like Chu Chu DiFlowers or Lippie Lickstrong or even Pink Curtains. Okay, maybe she’s a little like Pink Curtains.”
 The Divine Mr M as Nurse FuFu Plan B from Outerspace will be released exclusively at prisons, old age homes for nasty old people that no one likes, and orphanages for the naughty and/or ugly.
 Mike Spiegelman, Flaming-bong, Eileen Murphy, Dave Chambers and Karen Spiegelman.
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COMMAND PERFORMANCE! ONE NIGHT ONLY, HALLOWEEN PRODUCTION!ROAD TRIP TO PLUTO returns to the Four-Star Theater Thursday, 8:30 PM, October 28 for a command return performance!
Note: This is AFTER the baseball game, folks, so have a seat at Trader Sam's for the game, then head on over for some sci-fi goodness!
TICKETS HERE! Enter promo code CHEESE for $4 off the door price!
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